Skip to main content

Modesty in Marriage: A Message for Newlyweds

Congratulations! You’re married! All that chastity has paid off with a beautiful temple wedding. But virtue doesn’t stop at the altar—modesty in all areas continues in marriage.

  1. Clothing: Remain modest in respect for your spouse and temple garments. On beach days and date nights, you can still dress attractively without flaunting your sexuality.
  2. Bedroom: The Church has no official rules on what is and is not allowed in the bedroom, except for obvious behaviors that break covenants, such as infidelity, pornography, and abuse. However, President Kimball advised, “If it is unnatural, you just don’t do it. That is all, and all the family life should be kept clean and worthy and on a very high plane. There are some people who have said that behind the bedroom doors anything goes. That is not true and the Lord would not condone it.”1 When you are unsure of something concerning intimacy, examine your motivation and feelings. Sex should never be dirty, carnal, or worldly and should never objectify your bodies. Pray for guidance from the Holy Ghost in making sexual decisions.
  3. Private talk: Couples are encouraged to communicate their sexual needs to each other. And flirting with one another is fun and romantic. However, always talk about the body and intimacy with respect. Avoid distasteful slang, crude humor, and profanity.
  4. Public talk: Your sex life is between you, your spouse, and Heavenly Father. If needed, discuss intimacy problems with a  marital therapist, physician, or trusted friend or family member.
  5. PDA: Public displays of affection should be appropriate for all witnesses. Save sexual touching and passionate kissing for the bedroom. Show your love in public through romantic gestures, such as holding hands and kissing sweetly.
Remaining modest throughout marriage will not suffocate the flames of passion. On the contrary,  “The greatest passions of marriage lie ahead, to increase over the years through experience and growth. A truth not generally known to newly married couples is that in virtuous marriages passions increase over the years between the couple. . . .  [A]s we, the children of God, develop virtuously within marriage we will discover ever more profound enjoyments of all his creations, including our own emotions, bodies, and spiritual capacities.”2
Challenge: Continue to be modest in all areas throughout your life.

1.      Spencer W. Kimball, The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, p. 312. (Quoted in the following source.)
Labels:

Comments

Anonymous said…
good stuff from a great young married lady-DAD
May 3, 2011 at 12:42 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Be Thou an Example of the Believers" at Home

Today, my husband and I spoke in sacrament meeting. Here is the first part of my talk ( read Part 2  and Part 3 ): “The effect of our words and acts is tremendous in this world. Every moment of life you are changing to a degree the lives of the whole world.” Those are the words of President David O. McKay.* If we have such an astounding influence over the world, we need to be examples of righteousness. As Paul counseled, “Be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. . . . Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in so doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee” (1 Timothy 4:12, 16). The Lord said, “He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also” (John 14:12). So to be an example of the believers is to do what the Lord has done so that we can “save [ourselves], and them that hear [us].” We usually apply this principle to missionary work, but it also e...
3 comments
Read more

Teaching Children Really Does Make a Difference

A talk from stake conference today reminded me of the testimony I gave in September and meant to post here. Here's the gist of it . Sometimes I wonder if teaching the gospel to my children is really making a difference, especially because I don't see the results right away. Scripture study and family home evening require a lot of effort, and most of the time is spent getting them to sit and pay attention and not fight with each other. It reminds me of when Elder Bednar shared similar thoughts  in a past conference: Sometimes Sister Bednar and I wondered if our efforts to do these spiritually essential things were worthwhile. Now and then verses of scripture were read amid outbursts such as “He’s touching me!” “Make him stop looking at me!” “Mom, he’s breathing my air!” Sincere prayers occasionally were interrupted with giggling and poking. And with active, rambunctious boys, family home evening lessons did not always produce high levels of edification. At times Sister Bed...
2 comments
Read more

Unexpected Blessings of Modesty

graphic by Ivan Prole Because we hear the modesty talk at church and related activities, we are well aware of the spiritual blessings of being modest. But there are other subtle ways in which the Lord blesses us for keeping this commandment. Better Skin When you get older you won’t have sun-damaged skin on your chest, shoulders, back, and thighs. Your skin is better protected from the sun’s rays and therefore will not show signs of aging as quickly or as severely as it would if exposed. More Flattering Figure Women who dress to their body types modestly look more flattering. Wearing clothes that fit and cover allows your body to look its best (just watch What Not to Wear for examples). More Outfits With all the t-shirts, camisoles, cardigans, and other layering devices in your wardrobe, you can mix and match to make numerous outfits and easily dress up or down an outfit as well. More Comfort You won’t experience the pain and discomfort from super ...
1 comment
Read more