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Death

Friday morning I was informed of the death of a friend as a result of a car accident. He left behind a wife of one year and a three-month-old baby girl. Once the shock wore off, the tears came—tears for the husband who left this earth so early in life, tears for the wife without her love beside her, tears for the baby who will never know her father.

But I also had tears for me because of this wake-up call. How would I react if Justin were to die today? Would I be prepared if I were to die today? In all honesty, I fear death, and for the obvious reason: I am not spiritually prepared. Why have I procrastinated so much for so long? (I admit, I am also terrified of the means by which I will die—I fear agony and pain!)

Death as a whole affects me as well. I am very sensitive to the news whether or not I know the person or people involved. I cry over the circumstances of their death, such as age and cause. I cry over their grieving family and friends. I cry over their lack of understanding the plan of salvation, if not LDS. And I cry over the pain and guilt those who are LDS feel when they doubt, get angry, or do not find comfort in the plan. Death is not an easy thing to deal with, even when you know you will be with loved ones again. I’ve read different things about interacting with those who are grieving—what to say and not say, when to help and not help, how to sympathize or empathize. But it really is different for every person.

This is the first death to really affect me since my grandpa’s several years ago, mostly because we were friends, he was so young, and his death was unexpected (not that it’s less tragic when people are old or know they are going to die). I am ok—we weren’t super close. I just cried and hugged my husband all morning. And I prayed and will continue to pray for the wife, baby, family, and friends of the husband. Hopefully they all will find comfort and peace.

Discussion: How do you feel about dying? How has death affected you?
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Anonymous said…
I have a weak spot in my armor for death- pray about it constantly- has been an anxiety builder my whole life- am so sorry about your friend- we just lost hubert Robinson last night to cancer-
Love Dad
September 10, 2009 at 2:04 AM
Anonymous said…
The pain of a loss to death is unmeasurable. I am truly sorry for your friends. We don't know how the rest of mortality will turn out for those left behind. But, we do know that if we have faith, and live by that faith, all will be well in the hereafter.

Love you much,
Mom
September 11, 2009 at 10:49 AM
Lauren said…
Death is one of those bittersweet things for me. I think I with everyone else in that most of the time I'm terrified of dying simply because I don't think I'm doing well enough in my life to achieve celestial glory.

On the other hand, there are times when I think about dying someday and I can't help but be excited. It will be such a wonderful experience to see all the people in my family that have gone before.

I had a similar experience to yours earlier this summer. A young girl from my home ward was killed in a car accident while up here on vacation, and the family nearly lost another daughter as well. And honestly, it was one of the hardest deaths I've had to deal with because she was young and wasn't suffering. It felt unfair at first that she was taken so abruptly. But after talking with her parents and other friends of the family, I've never felt so.... content, though that's not the best word to describe it. While the family was saddened by their loss, I never saw them once be negative about the situation because of the comforting knowledge that they had with the gospel in their lives.

We truly are blessed for the knowledge that God has revealed to us, and while death is hard to deal with at times, it's comforting to know that this isn't the end and we will see those loved ones again someday. And of all the funerals I've been to, I love Mormon funerals because of the 'upbeat' attitude that there is.

I hope that your friend and her baby are doing ok. I'm sure if I were in her situation I wouldn't know what to do.
September 21, 2009 at 8:19 PM
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