Brightening My Light

 Recently I read some blogs and comments by active, inactive, and former members of the Church. The posts were negative and critical and planted seeds of doubt in my mind about things I have never questioned before. I felt like I had let in poison and feared the effects it was having on me. The following Sunday, my husband and I read in the November 2010 General Conference issue of the Ensign the talk "Faith--the Choice is Yours" by Bishop Richard C. Edgley . This was no coincidence. The talk addressed exactly what I was feeling. In these troubled times, there are many attacks on the Church, from within and without. They are not in our control, but our reaction is. Bishop Edgley counsels, "When our sacred doctrine and beliefs are challenged, this is our opportunity to become acquainted with God in a most private and intimate manner. This is our opportunity to choose. . . . So I say, choose faith. Choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the u...

The LDS culture certainly has ideas about a typical Relief Society woman. She can sew, quilt, cook, bake, garden, can, craft, decorate, sing or play an instrument, keep house, and raise a perfect family. The LDS comedy  The RM makes fun of Relief Society and its more ridiculous traditions, such as elaborate centerpieces, cute handouts, and an overflow of interesting dinners for new moms. Charly (the book), on the other hand, makes fun of this ideal in another light. Charly, a convert who does not fit this Mormon woman description at all, admits she plays a tape recording of the vacuum when a fellow Relief Society sister calls so that the sister thinks she's cleaning her house. However, she is a Relief Society sister in the true sense: she provides relief to those in need. She befriends the Native American sisters in her ward and strengthens them spiritually. When I sometimes feel inadequate because I cannot sew or craft or can my own peaches, I remembe...

photo by Ricardo Chahad The symbolism and powers of light and darkness are no coincidences. A 2010 study found that people were more likely to be dishonest in dim lighting or when wearing sunglasses than in bright lighting or when wearing clear glasses. I believe it is more than just a result of feeling unwatched or hidden. Darkness is not only the absence of physical light, but also the absence of spiritual light. Darkness is the devil's domain, his prime time for work, which is why we associate all things evil with the dark: sinful places are barely lit; terrible crimes happen at night; criminals usually dress in dark, concealing clothing. I think that is why we are often more shocked and offended when something wicked occurs in "broad daylight." The findings of this study should prompt us to evaluate our own behavior in darkness and to eliminate it if it affects us. If we find that we are just as likely to commit the sin in light, then we need to take even more carefu...

photo by Jason Morrison When we think of judging, we usually think of condemning others, not being compassionate and understanding, and jumping to conclusions. We usually judge others who we think are sinning or wrong. However, there is another type of judging: condemning the righteous. We've all labeled someone a Molly Mormon or Peter Priesthood. That label is not a compliment. Why do we view people's decisions to be strict or spiritual as negative? Simply because we think they are extreme or weird or uptight doesn't mean we have the right to judge them, make fun of them, or treat them unkindly in any other way. As brothers and sisters in the Church we are supposed to uplift and encourage one another. We should applaud others' efforts to have high standards and do what they feel is necessary to stay close to Christ, not make it harder for them to do so. We should also seek to understand them. As a former Miss Goody-Two-Shoes, I can tell you that most people misi...

photo by Steve Goodwin Instead of posting all the responses I got to my article on why Mormons oppose gay marriage , I decided to write a follow-up discussion answering some of the questions people asked. When reading the comments, I was extremely disappointed in the immaturity others displayed. There are appropriate and inappropriate ways to voice our opinions. Only a couple people shared their views with maturity. My favorite comment labeled my blog a "bigoted hate site." Tell me if that doesn't shout hypocrisy! We should all be respectful of other beliefs. I know most people disagree with me and that is fine. I do not expect them to convert to my way of thinking; I simply want them to understand my point of view. And I am willing to hear yours too if you do so respectfully. Thank you. Older or infertile couples We are all supposed to strive for marriage, yet for some it does not happen until later in life when childbearing years are far behind. Other couples may...

photo by Matt Cook It is known news that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) contributed much to stop gay marriage from becoming legal in California. However, most people do not understand fully why we are against it. I will address common questions concerning Mormons and their opposition to gay marriage. Are Mormons against gay people? No. As the expression goes, we "hate the sin, not the sinner." That creed applies to any person struggling with sin, not just gay people. What we disapprove of is the homosexual lifestyle. There are members of our Church who are homosexual yet as worthy as heterosexual members because they do not participate in that lifestyle. Elder Holland said , "Let me make it clear that attractions alone, troublesome as they may be, do not make one unworthy. The First Presidency has stated, 'There is a distinction between immoral thoughts and feelings and participating in either immoral heterosexual or any homosexual...

photo from lds.org Our religion focuses on hope. We are constantly reminded to count our blessings and be positive during trials. However, I think we then sometimes forget to be compassionate toward those who are struggling or suffering. We spout off doctrinal phrases and optimistic comments that are insensitive. For example: "You can have more children." "It's about time you marry/remarry." "It's not like that is a major sin." "You need to stop thinking about it." "I went through the same thing and it turned out ok." We should validate what others feel, even if we think they are overreacting, obsessing, wallowing, etc. To them, their thoughts and emotions are very real. We cannot dictate what they should feel or when they should feel it: everyone responds to trials differently, and what we think is right may not be right for someone else. If we think someone is being self-destructive, we should inform the bishop. He ha...